An Annoying Inconvenience

Edward comes home and finds Sylvia in the kitchen, busy making something for her dog, Bobby. He doesn’t jump in right away; instead, he hangs back and watches. She seems pretty pleased with herself, putting the finishing touches on what looks like a meal. She’s all smiles, proud of her work, and then heads off to serve it to Bobby.

Edward follows her, but things take a weird turn—she heads down to a dungeon. Wait, a dungeon? Edward is floored. He can’t even remember ever building one. Down there, he sees Bobby, looking terrified. Nora and Haldis are with him, and Bobby’s chained up, trapped, his genitals clamped in some awful vice. It’s like they’re daring him to break free.

Edward: So this is it? This answers everything. The real reason you couldn’t introduce me to your “pet.” You’ve brought a pest into my house.

Haldis, Nora, and Sylvia freeze. Busted. They glance at each other, caught like kids sneaking cookies, scrambling for an excuse.

Edward: A two-legged redpillar male. He’s human, not a dog. And he’s young—just skin and bones. What were you thinking? Where did you even find this poor kid?

Nora: AJ, darling, let me explain—

Sylvia: Daddy, please don’t be mad.

Edward: I’m not even going to ask how you did this. But you brought this filthy, scrawny mutt into my home? Now I’m wrapped up in your mess.

Haldis: My love, really, you’re overreacting. We were made to dominate. Just like you’re meant to make us surrender to your Ogre Max. It’s who we are.

Edward: And there’s a dungeon under my house? You know what, forget it. It’s clear, I’ve been neglecting what your needs. I’ll sort this out soon. For now, Sylvia, go upstairs and get rid of whatever that is. If you’re going to keep a pet, make sure it’s actually healthy. Don’t poison it.

Bobby: mmmmmmmmm!!!!!! (struggling to speak)

Edward: For heaven’s sake, Mother, just take that gag off him already.

(Haldis removes the gag and hands it to Edward. He leans in, whispers something in her ear. She suddenly lights up.)

Haldis: Alright, sweetheart. If you can pull that off, I’ll ask Nora and Sylvia to wait a little longer. (She heads upstairs.)

Bobby: (starts crying) Oh, thank god. I really thought they’d never leave.

Edward: Quiet, you little pest! I’ll deal with you in a minute. You’re my daughter’s pet now. Her two-legged mutt. She caught you, so you belong to her. The only reason I’m stopping this embarrassing mess is you’re too young. Too soft. Just a baby bunny, Bobby.

Bobby: My name’s Johan.

Edward: Did I ask? My daughter means everything to me—even if she’s got her flaws, and this twisted idea of turning you into her slave in my own house. If she calls you Bobby, then you’re Bobby. You’ll get used to it. I’ve got questions for you, but I’ll save them for later. You’re not going to be a slave here. You’ll be a paid servant. You’ll deal with my wife and daughter’s nonsense, but at least you’ll get something for it. First, clean yourself up. You stink. Then, eat something decent. After that, you’re coming to work for me. We’ll talk details. None of this is up for debate. There’s a project we’re working on; you might even find it interesting.

Bobby: Yes, sir! Thank you!

Edward turns to go.

Bobby: Uh… can you untie me?

Edward: Ha! And let you run around my house, you little redpill creep? What, do I look like an idiot? Not happening!