Keeping up with Appearances

So, picture this: I show up at work the next morning, and who’s there to greet me? My daughters, Vilde and Mathilde. Honestly, we’ve gotten way tighter lately—mainly because they’ve suddenly decided my job is the coolest thing ever. Well, if I’m being real, it’s probably more about them wanting to be like their big sister Zoey. She’s the ringleader here, pulling them in with her weirdly enthusiastic relationship with her boyfriend, Alex. Poor guy—Zoey’s got him wrapped around her little finger, and apparently, his butt’s been taking some serious damage, thanks to “The Great Odin.” (Don’t ask. Zoey’s into some wild stuff, and honestly, Alex is just kind of... there for the ride. Dude makes noises you wouldn’t believe.)

Anyway, Vilde and Mathilde have been watching and learning, front and center. What Zoey didn’t bother telling me is that she and Charlotte have basically turned these two into little apprentices—teaching them, let's say, “interesting” things about dealing with submissive dudes. Mathilde, bless her clueless little heart, came up to me and asked if that stuff was supposed to apply to Vieregg and me. She’s just so earnest and sweet, I didn’t have the heart to set her straight. She’s got major stay-at-home mom vibes—always fussing over everyone, cooking, cleaning, making sure we’re all fed. She’s even got this weird obsession with mother’s milk—wants to pour it in my cereal, like I’m her baby or something. Had to tell her, “Hey, that milk’s for your kids, not me.” But she just laughs it off, says she wants to take care of her “mommy and daddy.” Can’t win.

And then there’s Vorin. If you ask me, she’s kind of a bad influence. She’s always itching to come hang out at my work, but let’s be real, it’s mostly because she loves the shooting range. She and Nora are obsessed—every time we get a new gun or piece of armor, they’re the first to try it out. Not to mention, Vorin’s teaching Mathilde and Vilde how to handle firearms like pros. Guess I should be proud? Or maybe a little concerned. Depends on the day.

Sometimes, she’ll tape my face to the dartboard before shooting practice—says it’s her way of blowing off steam after I “dominate” her. Honestly, she’s a bit dramatic, but hey, she still loves me. Our whole setup? Yeah, it’s weird. Nora’s got this thing for oddball concoctions—powders, potions, those sketchy “truth serums,” and some kind of… exotic lubricants. She loves slathering them on Claire just to see what’ll happen, basically turning her into a plaything.

Not that I get off the hook. One night, Charlotte (of all people) drops off a sample of this knockout drug. Next thing I know, I’m out cold, dreaming the filthiest, most vivid dream of my life. Except, turns out, it wasn’t a dream—Claire, Lisa, Gina, and Nora had a field day with me while I was completely zonked out. Waking up, the place stank of sex and sweat, and I was basically trapped in a tangle of four very pleased Doll-3s. Didn’t take Sherlock Holmes to piece together what went down that night.

Thinking back on all the times we’d hung out, Vieregg showing up actually happy? Yeah, that threw me for a loop. The dude’s usually dragging himself around like he’s one bad coffee away from a coma. Today, though—whole new vibe. He’s been buzzing for a while now, honestly. Maybe it’s because he usually treats me like just another face in the crowd, but the second Zoey and Vilde walked in, it was like someone flipped a switch. Suddenly, he’s all posture and charm, desperate not to look like a total mess in front of his two favorite girls. Vilde hops right onto his lap, mastering the whole “sweet and innocent” routine—she could win awards for that act.

Things haven’t felt the same since Rahab joined the crew, though. Used to be, the office was full of dumb pranks and chaos. Now? Vieregg’s got this laser focus, always trying to impress Rahab with his wild inventions and somehow convince her to pose for him and the science guys. Like, he’s not even subtle about it. And Charlotte? She’s in on the game too—after Monica and Melanie, you’d think she’d be bored by now, but nope. She’s down for anything Vieregg’s got in mind.

Rahab, though, she’s nobody’s fool. She knows exactly what’s up between those two and keeps their little escapades under wraps. Still, there’s this hilarious rumor floating around that Rahab actually gets a kick out of watching Charlotte and Vieregg get it on. Word is, she started getting herself off just watching, then eventually jumped in for real. Next thing you know, their moans are echoing down the empty corridors when everyone else has clocked out. Office drama? Please. This place is a soap opera on steroids.