The Doggy's Checkup

Edward wakes up in the middle of the night, still thinking about his daughter’s new pet—the last thing he wanted in the house. Bobby (Johan), the so-called redpiller, lurks somewhere below. Edward moves quietly, careful not to wake anyone, and heads for the dungeon. He can’t help but feel a little sorry for the kid, trapped now because of Nora and Sylvia. It stings more that he never saw it coming. Looking back, all those conversations with Sylvia, all the hints—he missed every one. He feels foolish, honestly.

He creeps downstairs, barely making a sound. Years ago, he and Nora hunted redpillers together, so he knows the kind. Bobby fits right in with those men in the woods—always ready to slip into a house, grab whatever he wants, even your wife if you’re not careful. Edward pushes his pride aside. Tonight, he’s just the guard, facing this so-called “unrepentant” creature.

The house stays quiet until morning. That’s when Bobby finally starts yelling for help. Edward—AJ, as some call him—stands over him, not moving an inch. Bobby keeps shouting, louder and louder, until AJ’s patience runs out. He grabs a sock and shoves it in Bobby’s mouth, shutting him up for good.

Bobby: Wait, are you seriously thinking about attacking me? Look at me—I’m all skin and bones. There’s really nothing here for you. If you’re hoping for some kind of partnership, you’re barking up the wrong tree.

Edward: (Groggy, rubbing his eyes) Can you keep it down, you scrawny brat? You never know who you’re dealing with. I don’t know you, so I had to make sure you weren’t dumb enough to try anything. I have no clue what you want, what you’re capable of, where you even came from. For all I know, you’re carrying a whole pharmacy’s worth of weird diseases. That’s exactly why you’re coming with me today.

Bobby: Uh, wait, what? Seriously?

Edward: You heard me. I’m not repeating myself. You’re going to be my live test subject. Get dressed. Meet me out front. Five minutes.

Bobby: But I’m starving—

Edward: Fantastic. Complains and whines. Just what I needed.

Bobby does what he’s told, though he grumbles about it, and starts getting dressed. AJ tosses him a banana to keep him busy while waiting in the car. After saying goodbye to Nora, Haldis, and Sylvia, Edward drives to the office with Bobby riding shotgun. They park, hop out, and head inside together. By now, Edward’s honestly a little shocked—Bobby hasn’t made a single move to run off. He’s had plenty of chances, but he’s sticking around, almost obedient.

Inside, Zoey greets them. She spots Bobby, gives him a quick once-over, then looks back at her dad.

Zoey: Dad! Where are the rest of his clothes? Seriously, have you lost your mind? And how did you even find this poor guy?

Bobby stares at Zoey, and, well, he feels something stir down below. She’s got that whole graceful-but-commanding vibe going on. Edward notices the look on Bobby’s face and, without missing a beat, knees him hard in the groin—to snap him out of it.

Edward: First off, I didn’t just find him somewhere. This whole thing is really Sylvia and Nora’s idea. Meet the newest member of our crew—Bobby. Technically, he’s Sylvia’s pet, but yeah, he’s living with us now. I need to get him over to the lab for a bit to run some tests. Can you pull up the latest Hierarch files? Oh, and before I forget, we’ve got to sort out his food situation. Breakfast needs to be a real meal—Bobby’s got an appetite, and after he eats, he’ll need a spot to crash.Bobby stares at us, totally confused, but the second he hears the word “food,” that’s it. Nothing else matters. He just wants to eat.

Zoey: Okay, Dad, but you have to swear—when you’re done with all your experiments, I get to play with him first.

Edward: Deal. Bobby’s going to love it here. But before anything else, we’ve got to get those special safeguards in place. Then we can get started.

Vieregg: So this is Sylvia’s new pet? (grinning at Edward)

Edward: Seriously, Vieregg, can we not do this right now? It’s barely morning.

Vieregg: What, a two-legged dog? Didn’t think I’d ever see one in real life.

Edward: (rolls his eyes) Don’t tempt me, I’ll toss you in the lake.

Vieregg: (bursts out laughing)

Bobby dug into his meal like he hadn’t eaten in days—grilled veggies and salmon, cheesy grits, smoked venison steak, scalloped potatoes, collard greens loaded with bacon, and sweet baked potatoes dripping with butter and brown sugar. When he finally pushed his plate away, full and happy, Zoey led him to the labs so he could chill out. She showed him to this nice, private shower and bath, then slipped out to grab him some real clothes.

Bobby didn’t seem bothered by any of it. Actually, he felt a weird mix of excitement and nerves. All this attention—he wasn’t used to it, but he kind of liked it. People noticed him, especially the women. His lean, wiry build definitely caught their eye. Some of them didn’t even try to hide it. Monique, for one, looked at him like she’d just found exactly what she was looking for.

Soon Zoey came back, her arms full of clothes. By then, a crowd had started to gather outside—mostly women, all curious, some a little too eager. Zoey stepped in, shooing them away, though you could tell she wanted Bobby all to herself. The whole time, she stuck close, keeping a watchful eye and blocking the staff’s not-so-subtle stares.

Zoey: Sorry about all this, Bobby. Everyone’s dying to meet you. None of them have ever met a redpiller face to face. There’s this wild rumor going around—you know, that we found you in the woods as a pet for my sister, Sylvia.

The second Zoey mentioned Sylvia, Bobby stiffened. A shiver ran down his spine.

Zoey: What’s wrong, Bobby? Does my sister freak you out?

Bobby: It’s not just her. Her mom and grandma are in on it too. I got trapped by the Devil Doll herself—Nora. She’s deadly. If you so much as look at her the wrong way, she’ll kill you. And her mom, Haldis? She’s even scarier. They haunt my nightmares. My dad and granddad always warned me: get caught by those two, and you’re off to the Dungeons for good. No one ever comes back.

Zoey: Oh, come on, Bobby. You’re making it sound way too dramatic. Plenty of men end up in the Inquisition dungeons. Honestly, some guys are into it. It’s a whole scene for men who want to get bossed around by women.

Bobby: Can I ask you another question?

Zoey: I’m listening.

Bobby: How’d you know I was a redpiller, anyway? Ever since I was a kid, I was told to swallow the Red Pill. Women were monsters, all of them. Bloodthirsty, scheming, always out to get us. Monsters in the woods, just waiting to pounce.

Zoey: Don’t forget gold-diggers. But let’s be real, not every woman in Norway is some man-eating beast. Sure, we love sex, and I’m no exception. Honestly, I’m just here to keep the idiots away. Plus, people talk. There was a whole conversation about you a while back. My dad heard my sister and stepmom caught a “two-legged dog” and got all excited. He actually thought you were a real dog until he met you face-to-face. He was furious. Vieregg, his buddy, won’t let him hear the end of it. Now Dad’s stuck feeding yet another sorry soul, and he’s not happy about it.

Bobby: Um, I'm sorry?

Zoey: Don't be Bobby, Dad is not one to nurse a grudge, but you can understand why he has his guard up around you. You are a stranger in his house and one of the enemy. Who knows what you are capable of? It's better to be safe than sorry.

Bobby: But I like my new arrangement. I promise not to cause any trouble.

Zoey: There is just no way to tell Bobby. It's much better to put safeguards into place. Just to be sure.

Bobby: (Gulps) Are you going to kill me?

Zoey: That’d just be wasteful. Honestly, it’s reckless too—not my style.

Bobby: So what, you’re sending me to the Dungeons?

Zoey: Nope. We’ve got something else in mind for you.

Bobby: Something else? Like what?

Zoey: Oh, Bobby. Trust me, you’re about to make a lot of women very happy when we’re done with you.

Bobby: Hold on—wait! You’re not about to turn me into some kind of mindless drone, right?

Zoey: (laughs) No, you won’t be a drone. Think of it more like… you’ll be a special kind of tool. You’ll be fueling the ambitions and desires of a lot of power-hungry women—those women you saw outside, and yeah, me too. Now, sleep.

Bobby’s whole body goes rigid, then suddenly slack. He drops into a deep sleep—finally getting a real rest after who knows how long in that Dungeon under AJ’s place. Just then, Zoey’s dad, Edward, steps into the room.

Edward: How long until his body’s ready?

Zoey: Probably after his next meal. His body responds to everything I’ve told it, no trouble at all.

Edward: Good. When he wakes up, we’ll feed him dinner. Once he’s eaten and the food settles, we’ll move on. Keep building trust with him. The more relaxed he gets, the better our odds. We need those safeguards to kick in and the Hierarch to sync up with his DNA and body.